Friday, March 18, 2011

Friendship???

I remember as a kid I was never very good at approaching people that I did not know.  For me it was easier to hang back and observe before diving into anything too quickly.  I am not sure if shy is the right word, more like guarded.  The closer you get to people, the harder you fall when someone has to move, or something goes wrong in the friendship.  Being a military brat taught me that as strong as a friendships are, they can go away with a little distance and time.  Any who, thinking about this leads me to ask the question - what really makes a friendship?  When can you call someone a friend instead of just an acquaintance?  It is like the first few months of a relationship when you a re not sure when it is okay to introduce someone as girl/boyfriend.

Anyway, as an adult, I have a few people that I think I would consider friends, a slue of aquaintances, and then those that are not either or - they just . . .are.  The thing is at one time or another they had a label, but through distance, time, fallout, or other, I am not quite sure where to classify them. There are also those that seem like friends, sometimes, acquaintances at others, and nonexistent from time to time.  You know those people who think that it is impossible to be friends with more than one group at one time.  Or, my favorite, the friend of convenience.  Love that one.  The problem with it is that unless it is explicitly said, you never really know where stand with anyone.

Then of course, the new trend nowadays is for everyone to be classified as a favorite or bestie.  The term best friend has lost some of its power in some cases.  It used to be that person you could trust, you loved to be around, and who you could truly be yourself around.  Now it seems like, for some people, it is whoever happens to be available for that weekend.  Best believe if I refer to someone as my best friend, I truly means that I think of you as family.  Words need to maintain their meaning, or the lines get all muddled.  I have found in the past that when I finally get close to someone, I will fight to keep that friendship.  I will go out of my way to keep things on good terms. Unfortunately, that favor is not always returned.

I just hope for my children, friendship truly means something.  The older they get the more I worry.  Will they have those close friends that they'll know really have their backs through thick and thin, or will they have that group of friends that are there just when it is convenient.  I want them to foster relationships that mean something, even if it means only having a few good friends, several acquaintances, and maybe a few "others". Most of all, I hope they can be each others best friends.